Too imperfect to be true? mail from a reader

 Hi guys, and welcome to naijacollegedork romance. few days prior to this, I received a random email, my eyes widened as I perused it and they kept getting wider. today for the first time I will be tendering a reader's downhill love travails  on our platform. 

Enjoy.

Dear naijacollegedork,

I never imagined I would be writing to you, but I feel so lost and confused that I don't know where else to turn. I'm in university and in a relationship that feels like a never-ending nightmare. My boyfriend, G, is older and, on the surface, seems perfect—mature, responsible,stable and focused on his studies. . But beneath this exterior lies a deep flaw that is destroying our relationship.

G doesn’t joke or take things lightly, ever. When we first started dating, his maturity was one of the things that attracted me to him. I thought I had found someone who would take our relationship seriously and provide stability. But now, his seriousness is suffocating. He never laughs or finds joy in the little things. Our conversations are always so heavy, filled with serious discussions about the future, finances, and responsibilities. There's no room for light-hearted moments or simple fun.

Romance, if it ever existed between us, has become a distant memory. G rarely shows affection or reassures me of his feelings. It's as if he believes that his initial declaration of love should suffice for a lifetime. I crave the small gestures—holding hands, surprise notes, or just a simple "I love you"—but they never come. When I try to talk to him about my need for more emotional support, he dismisses me. He tells me that actions speak louder than words, yet his actions lack the warmth and affection I need.

I’ve tried to break up with him before, thinking it would be better to be alone than in a relationship that feels so one-sided. But he made it clear that I am not in a position to leave him. His exact words were, "You don’t get to decide when this ends." It made me feel trapped and helpless. How can someone who claims to love you deny you the freedom to choose your own happiness?

different occasions have left me drained and tired of all this. The most memorable was during a group study session with some friends, I tried to lighten the mood by making a joke about our hectic schedules. While everyone else laughed, G gave me a stern look and said, "This is serious. You should focus." I felt embarrassed and hurt in front of our friends. His inability to relax and enjoy the moment was draining.

There was also a time when I was feeling incredibly low and needed comfort. I tried to talk to G about how overwhelmed I felt with schoolwork and personal issues. Instead of offering support, he told me to "toughen up" and that "life isn’t always fair." His lack of empathy and understanding made me feel even more alone.

Finally, there was a day I was sick and bedridden. I called G, hoping he would come over and take care of me, or at least keep me company. He showed up hours later, only to drop off some medications and leave, saying he had to meet a project deadline. I felt so abandoned and insignificant.

I’m reaching out to you because I need advice. I need to know if this is a common issue or if there's something I can do to improve our relationship. Am I expecting too much? Is there a way to communicate my needs without causing further tension?

Please keep my identity anonymous, as I’m not ready for anyone who knows us to be aware of these issues.

Thank you for listening, naijacollegedork.

Sincerely,
A Confused Heart

before i offer a response with my inexperienced brain, i will like us to rally round in the comments with our thoughts and advice.

and if you do want to send related questions, advice or suggestions. the link is attached below

https://tellonym.me/user.98556857 

I await your responses, till then

bkhatrak